I've often wished I could be more productive with my time. Focus on what's important, prioritise my tasks and direct my efforts to the most important ones to get them done.
So I would make a list. (If you check my desk, my computer, my phone, there are a lot of lists.) I would sit there and list out all the things I wanted to do that day in the order I was going to do them. Then I would half arsed start the first one but distract myself without really getting into the flow of it.
It might be to have breakfast or lunch, smoke a cigarette (thank fully I've kicked this habit!), just have a break or doing some other menial task. Perhaps I would think.. 'right,, just 15 minutes of TV and then I'll get onto the list', which turned into 3 hours and a complete loss of motivation and the realisation I have somewhere I need to be in a hour so oh! better get ready then..
(FYI I don't have a TV but I do have internet and a really great website for watching Korean dramas.)
So I'm still more or less in this habit of making lists and never actioning them. It's a slightly different process at work, obviously I'm getting paid to accomplish tasks and do them well so I can afford to rent a room and be able to not accomplish anything while being in it.
But still.. I haven't been happy with this state of affairs for a long time. Let's call it 25 years as I remember this feeling sitting in reception class and having a story to write and keep thinking, okay I'm not ready today I will pretend to work and start it tomorrow because THEN I WILL BE READY.
Well, 25 years is a hell of a long time to have a habit that I don't like and not do anything about it.
I kept thinking one day I will change, one day I will be able to set a task and just do it! One day I will grow out of this! The thing about growing is you have to make an effort. You need to act and not just wait for it to happen to you.
What has changed in the last few months? I'm accepting I'm never going to be ready, I'm never going to have the quiet peaceful space in my mind with all my focus on the task at hand. I'm not going to be in the moment all the time, enjoying from the core of my being to the tips of my fingers and toes the fact that I am re-writing my CV for the 300th time. (Insert alternative soul destroying tasks here).
What I need to do is SET MY INTENTION, when my focus wanders RECOGNISE this and bring myself back into the PRESENT MOMENT. When the noise in my head is so loud I can't hear myself think for all the thoughts buzzing around.. recognise that and seek the thread of my intention again.
Part of the problem for me was not recognising what the problem actually is - being distracted by all the noise in my head, which I'm so accustomed to I actually don't hear it*, and REACTING to it rather than acknowledging it and moving on.
*Mental noise is a lot like the roar on an airplane which you can't stand for the first few minutes then you get totally surprised by the silence one the plane has landed and is slowing taxying to the gate.
Acknowledging a thought gives you the power to do something with it. To tell it to eff off basically. To tell it, 'not now Norman!' Yes you could name them if you like but keeping track may be hard.
So, I guess this post could really be titled 'setting your intentions'.
What do you intend to do today?
I intend to focus on the task at hand - and hopefully see it to completion without distractions.
The intention is not the goal of the task as such, but developing my focus and remaining consistent in my efforts for the period I've dedicated to the task.
It's no longer about the list and getting through it. It's about putting aside the noise, the excuses, he reasons not to start and to get on with it!
Starting is half the job done. 시작이 반이다. My favourite (and currently the only) Korean quote I know.
A great post here if you are curious about the meaning of setting your intentions and how this differs from your goals. Something that has much wider implications than a yoga class, so don't let that put you off!
http://www.theyogagetaway.com/a-guide-to-setting-your-intention-in-yoga-class/
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